Dick Weasel, Attorney at Law by Tim Wilson
Intro: A Bm E A
A Bm
He'll beat you to the emergency room
E A
and paint a devastating picture of pain and gloom
Bm
he'll hate to hear all about your wreck
E Am
but deep down he's kinda happy that you broke your neck
Bm
He's almost a doctor he's worse than a crook
E A
he's the lawyer on the back of your telephone book
Am Bm
he can cry on cue and he can lie to your face
E A
and he can probably get you a bigger neck brace.
Bm
They haven't made anybody that he won't sue
E A
he'll get the radio station you was listening to
Bm
and if picking up your sister is in the police report
E A
he can probably take that b***h to court
B E
Dick Weasel Attorney at law
F# B
if you're in a body cast he's the man to call
E
he'll sue your boss and your momma an' them
F#
he could make a preacher wanna injure him
B E
He'll take 'em to court, he'll get ya the cash
F# B
He's the Johnny Cochran of the bull whiplash
E
He's the slickest lawyer that you ever saw
F# B
he'll have you eating jawbreakers through a straw
A Bm
He's willing to grovel, he's willing to beg
E A
what would you say to a broken leg
Bm
if we could get a fake cast put on your hand
E A
that might be worth another two or three grand
Bm
He'll take 'em to court and get the money real quick
E A
he'll tell the judge that he's worried sick
Bm7
And find a sawbones to claim that your vertebra's bent
E A
but you'll have to cough up another ten percent
B E
Dick Weasel, Attorney at law
F# B
He's never seen an accidental fall
E
He'll sue the judge and both of your kids
F#
It couldn't possibly anything you did
B E
He'll get you the money and he'll get it right now
F# B
Slick Dick's gonna show you how
E
He can make a twelve man jury squall
F# B
Over a compound fracture or some bad cole slaw
C# F#
Dick Weasel Attorney at Law
G# C#
He's F. Lee Bailey with bigger balls
F#
He'll represent you and work so hard
G# C#
You'll be sure Dick's gonna get his ass disbarred
F# G# C#
And Dick Weasel wants a third of this song
F# G# C#
Dick Weasel wants royalties
|