The Dildo Song 
Uncle John

Verse 1:

Riff

D                                                A
A knock came on my door one day and I went out to see
A
I saw my friend standing there this question he asked me
D                                  G
He said I have a paper here I said I think I know 
                                 A                           D      
You're going around from house to house to change the name Dildo
D                                                        A
I said now friend I will not sign to change this precious name, 
A                                                D
I hope that every person here they will feel the same
                                          G             
For God will travel with us wherever we may go 
                   D                               G
And he will never laugh and joke about the name Dildo. 


Chorus:

G
"D" stands for our dignity our name will never change
D                                                            A
And "I" stands for the innocent child who should never feel ashamed
    D
"L" we fought for liberty and "D" for days of old 
D                                                    A
While "O" spells out that loving word that we all call Dildo 

Riff

Verse 2:

D                                                     A
Now when I die I'll leave this place this home in which I love
 A                                           D
And God will get me ready then to take me up above
D                                     G
He will take me by the hand forever we will go 
                     D
To a home he's built in heaven that he has named Dildo


Chorus:

G
"D" stands for our dignity our name will never change
D                                                            A
And "I" stands for the innocent child who should never feel ashamed
 D
"L" we fought for liberty and "D" for days of old 
D                                                    A
While "O" spells out that loving word that we all call Dildo 


Verse 3:

D
Now Dildo is a little town that sits beside the sea
A                                             D
You'll find the people oh so kind,  with hospitality
D                                            G
So come and take a visit, you'll always be a friend
                  D
There's a welcome mat on every door, don't knock just come on in.

Chorus:

G
"D" stands for our dignity our name will never change
D                                                            A
And "I" stands for the innocent child who should never feel ashamed
    D
"L" we fought for liberty and "D" for days of old 
D
While "O" spells out that loving word that we all call Dildo 

Riff