I Just Don’t Look Good Naked Anymore: Ben Colder 

Resubmitted by GMWNS, 8May08 

Note 1: Ben Colder was really Shep Wooley (who did Purple People Eater in 
the late 50s). Wooley did many humorous songs under the name Ben Colder. 

Note 2: Unfortunately, I can relate to this song. 

Intro: Follow pattern of first line, without the (D7)* 

*(D) I stepped outta the shower and I (A) got a good look at my-(D)-self (D7) 
(G) Pot-bellied, bald-headed, well I thought I was somebody (D) else (D7) 
I (G) caught my reflection in the mirror on the back of the (D) bathroom door (Bm) 
I (E) just don't look good (A) naked any-(D)-more 

So I'm goin' upstairs and turn my (A) bedroom mirror to the (D) wall (D7) 
I (G) hung it there back when I was trim and (D) tall (D7) 
Why I'd (G) stand there and smile and flex and scrunch un-(D)-til my arm got (Bm) sore 
I (E) just don't look good (A) naked any-(D)-more 

I (G) used to go out with the girls, (D) I loved them one and all (D7) 
Now (G) they don't get very close to me, (D) afraid that I might (A) fall 

I went to (D) see my doctor for my (A) annual medical ex-(D)-am (D7) 
Standin' (G) there in the buff, when suddenly, he said (D) "Ben!" (D7) 
I said, (G) "What is doc, some fatal disease? (D) Then I need to know the score." (Bm) 
He said, (E) "No. You just don't look good (A) naked any-(D)-more." 

Instrumental: Same as Intro 

But (G) me and Mona had a dancing style, the (D) folks said it was unique (D7) 
Now (G) it's only when we're back to back, we're (D) dancin' cheek-to-(A)-cheek 

I went (D) down to a nude (A) beach for some seaside (D) fun (D7) 
Stretched (G) out in my birthday suit soakin' up the (D) sun (D7) 
Then (G) somebody yelled, "There's an old white whale, (D) washed up on the (Bm) shore." 
Sure, I (E) just don't look good (A) naked any-(D)-more 

Yeah, my ((G)) heart just fell, my waist went to hell and my (D) butt is dragging the (Bm) floor 
I (E) just don't look good (A) naked any-(D)-more