Rich Fat and Ugly (performed by Bill Engvall and Elbert West)
written by Elbert West
from the album "Cheap Drunk: An Autobiography"
tabbed 8/7/05


INTRO: G


SPOKEN OVER INTRO:

  -Alright, here's my tribute to everyone who's ever wanted to be a country singer,
   includin' me.

           G                                 Cadd9               G
Well I'll starve myself so I can be skinny, just to get a record deal
             Cadd9                                       G            D
I'll let 'em paint me up and take pretty pictures, while I try to be myself
      G                                   Cadd9         G
And nobody wants an ugly fat singer, so I gots to do my part
        Cadd9                G                              D                 G
I get pumped-up, decked-out, hire myself a band, 'cause I'm gonna be a county star


N/C


CHORUS:
    A                                      C                    G
And then someday he's gonna fly to Vegas, sportin' him a copper tan
                                             C                          A
He's gonna spend most of the money he makes tourin' with his five-piece band
      G                                        Cadd9                   D 
Yeah everybody says the ride is gonna end, but when it's all said and done
     Cadd9            G                     D                   G
I'll be rich fat and ugly but happy if the girls still like me some


SOLO: Cadd9  G  C  D  G


SPOKEN OVER SOLO:

  -Don't sound too bad to me, Bill
  -No, it's a plan
  -Retirement at it's best
  -That's right, got me a Lear jet, a limo and everything, but you before you can have all
   that, you got to do the groundwork first
  -Bill, talk to me, show me the line-up
  -Getcha a pencil and paper, here we go
  -I got to hear about the pieces to this puzzle
  -Alright

          G                                       Cadd9          G
Well I'll hire a manager, agent and producer, and get some publicity (it's a necessary evil)
          Cadd9                             G                       D
I'm gonna pay 'em all a big fat percentage jus' to tell me what I need (ouch)
 G                                                      Cadd9                   G
Then when I've had it and they've run me ragged and my record's in the discount bin
G
(whatcha gonna do Bill?)
      Cadd9                            G                    D                    G
I'll fire 'em all (get 'em Bill!) and tour much cheaper as just another old has-been


N/C


CHORUS:
             A                                   C                      G
Then you can bet one day he's gonna fly to Vegas sportin' him a copper tan
G
(Like George Hamilton)
          G                                       C                        A
He might keep a little more of the money he makes travellin' as a one-man band
A
(I don't need no roadie)
      G                                               Cadd9                  D
Yeah eh-everybody says Bill the ride's gonna end, but when it's all said and done
     Cadd9            G                    D                   G
I'll be rich fat and ugly but happy if the girls still like me some
          Cadd9           G                      D                   Cadd9   G
Yeah I'll be rich fat and ugly but happy if the girls still like me some


C  D  G