270 Somethin'--Cledus T. Judd
Parody of "19 Somethin'" written by DuBois/Lee
New lyrics by Judd/Clark
From the album "A Six Pack of Judd"
Thanks to cmtboy for the original chords.  I used a capo 'cause it's easier.
Corrections welcome.

Capo II

INTRO: D F#m G F#m D (2x)
(Over INTRO)
Whoooo!
You know a man does have to eat him somethin'....

       D                  A                 Bm               A
I love candy bars eat 'em all the time, my combo meals are supersized
    G                                       A           D
And I crave the stuff they put inside those dang ding-dongs, mmmm!
                  A                        Bm                    A
My cholesterol is off the chart, I keep a blood pressure cuff on my left arm
G                                    A          D
Doctor says that my poor heart won't last too long
Bm              A                  Em              G     A
My nickname in school was double-wide, 'cause my momma fried


CHORUS 1:
D                  A              G            D
Now I weigh two-seventy-somethin' always huffin' and puffin'
Bm               A              D                  G       A
I lay around the house all day, no wonder I can't lose no weight
D             A          G             D
See the pizza on the TV, oh man don't it look cheesy
Em                     D          G      A                           D  
You know they deliver here for nothin', that's why I weigh 270 somethin'


My insurence said they'd co-pay, I made the same apointment Carney Wilson made
Plastic surgeon said he had a way to get those love handles off
He stapled and sucked stuff through a tube, I lost a hundred pounds in one afternoon
When I came to in the recovery room wasn't much left of me
When he removed the bandages from my thighs, I couldn't believe my eyes


CHORUS 2:

Now I weigh 180 somethin', didn't have to do much of nothin'
I'm lookin' like Jean Claude Van Damme, to fit in a pair of Mark Wills's pants
Now everyone who sees me can't believe that I'm so skinny
My body fat is nearly nothin', now that I weigh 180 somethin' whooo


BRIDGE:
A                         D
Now I date a model with a GED
             Em                      G          A
But do you think she'd be with me, I wonder, if I


CHORUS 3:

Still weighed 270 somethin' stuffin' down blueberry muffins
Onion rings and cans of SPAM, that's how I got so fat
Now everyone who sees me can't believe that I'm so skinny
I used to break a sweat just doin' nothin' back when I weighed 270 somethin
Now I weigh 180 somethin'

(Spoken)
Ah, well it's probably like, more around like 225, 26
Ain't none of ya'll's business what I weigh