Colorado Kool-Aid
By Johnny Paycheck


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I was sittin’ in this beer joint down in Houston Texas
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Been drinkin’ some Colorado Kool Aid and talking’ to some Mexicans
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And we was – uh, what’s that y’say
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What’s Colorado Kool Aid


Well it’s a can of Coors brewed from a mountain stream
It’ll set yer head on fire and make your kidneys scream
Ohhh It sure is fine
Yeah we was havin’ one of them real good times

But you know every beer joint you ever been in
Some big mean drunk, who just ain’t got no friends
Sure enough wants to fight, yeah,
He’s gonna whip everything in sight

Well sir, he took a big old swallow of beer  
And walked on over and spit in my Mexican friends ear
Well sure enough, that made my buddy real mad
Cause that’s like somethin’ he ain’t never had

Well sir, he pulled out a big, long switchblade knife
Quick as a whistle, he began to slice
That big mean drunk stood back, his face full of tears
Lookin’ down at the floor at one of his ears
Hmph- he cut that thang off even with the side burns

Now you might say that one little Mexican fellow
He just didn’t give a damn
But he was a gentleman about it, he bent over with a halfway grin
Picked it up and handed it back to him

Now Big Man, you get the urge to spit a little beer
Just open up your hand and spit it in your own ear
Won’t be no trouble that way, that’s what I heard him say
And I said barmaid, bring us another round of them Colorado Kool Aids
And while your up there bring this fellow a box of band aids

Now let me tell you, if your ever drivin’ down in South Texas
And you decide to stop and drink some of that Colorado Kool Aid
Even maybe talk to some Mexicans, and you get the urge to get a little tough
Better make damn sure you got your knife-proof earmuffs

Ain’t that right big man, I said ain’t that right big man
Ah, hell he can’t hear, not on this side anyway, he ain’t got no ear
Hey barmaid, bring us a big glass of that Colorado Kool Aid
How bout it, how ya doin’ big man, still got yer ear there in your hand