Cancer
By Jesse Welles
Written by Jesse Welles
Album: Hells Welles (2024)
Tabbed from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4o9JpqYyZw
Tabbed by Larry Mofle
9/20/2025

Capo 4

C
Cancer's getting meaner
C                       G   G7
And it ain't never been fun
G7                              F
Supposed to get you when you're old
F                               C
And now it gets you when you're young

 
Cancer's always been depressing
Cancer's never been pleasant
It don't care if you're royal
Don't care if you're a peasant

Well then what causes it

 
Chorus:
               F
Everything you ate
    F                C
The sleep you didn't get
     C           G
Your job and the air
        G              C
And the water and your bed
            F
The sun and red meat
                      C
All the fishes in the sea
C
They're all a bunch of cantankerous
G                 F          C
Cancer causing carcenogenic SOB's



                C
It's like them apocalyptic folks
                  G   G7
Off the newer Mad Max
                 G
MonSanta Claus delivered
        F              C
All the cancer in your ass


Chorus 2:
                         F
But it's from the purple ketchup
              C
The BPA's and microplastics
     G                    C
Just hope it don't go mis-tastic
                     F
It's meaner than the meanest
                 C C/B Am
Meanest than the r-u-u-umors
              C
It's your own personalized pan
G              F            C
Pizza Hut home grown little tumor, all right


Solo

              F
It'll make an atheist plead with God
            C
A hard core bumper sticker christian give up
   G
MonSanta Claus is a checking his list
        F                   C
And the cancer don't give a f**k

Solo

              C
Cancer of the head
                     G   G7
Shoulders, knees and toes
                 G7                   G
I wish I had the patent on the cancer screenin'
         F               C
I'd be a printin' cancer dough
              C
Cancer is as lucrative
                G
A business as a war
          G7
So if you ain't expectin' peace
     F            C   	 
Then why expect a cure