tele_tickler at countrytabs.com

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Came crawling home last night like many night before
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finally made it to my feet as she opened up the door
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and she said you're not gonna do this anymore
                                    F
she said, I'm gonna hire a whino to decorate our home
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so you'll feel more at ease here and you won't need to roam
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we'll take out the diningroom table we'll put a bar along that wall
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and a neon sign will point the way to our bathroom down the hall

                                                    F 
she said just bring those Friday paychecks and I'll cash 'em all right here
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and I'll keep on tap for all your friends their favorite kind of beer
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and for you I'll always keep in stock those soft aluminum cans
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and when you're feeling macho you can crush 'em like a man
                                              F
she said we'll rip out all the carpet and put sawdust on the floor
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serve hard-boiled eggs and pretzels and I won't cook no more
            C                        F
there'll be Monday Night Football on tv above the bar
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and a payphone in the hallway when your friends can't find their car

*Key Change - D*

she said, I'm gonna hire a whino to decorate our home
so you'll feel more at ease here and you won't need to roam
we'll take out the diningroom table we'll put a bar along that wall
and a neon sign will point the way to our bathroom down the hall

she said you'll get friendly service and for added atmosphere
I'll slip on something sexy and I'll cut it clear to here
then you can slap my bottom everytime you tell a joke
just as long as you keep tippin' well, I'll laugh until you're broke
she said instead of family quarrel we'll have a barroom brawl
when the ham's bear says it's closing time you won't have far to crawl
and when you run out of money you'll have me to thank
you can sleep it off next mornin' while I'm puttin' it in the bank

*Key Change - E*

she said, I'm gonna hire a whino to decorate our home
so you'll feel more at ease here and you won't need to roam
then when you and your friends get off from work and you have a powerful thirst
well, there won't be any reason why you can't stop off here first

*Key Change - F#*

she said, I'm gonna hire a whino to decorate our home
so you'll feel more at ease here and you won't need to roam
we'll take out the diningroom table we'll put a bar along that wall
and a neon sign will point the way to our bathroom down the hall