The President's Penis is Missing
By Drive-by Truckers
Written By Patterson Hood
Tabbed By Larry Mofle
rmofle at satx.rr.com
12/28/2004


      G                                     D
“They looked in the White House and Capitol Hill
     D                             G
They looked everywhere for Buffalo Bill
   G                                   D
We called every scholar, reporter, and genius
    D                           G
Has anyone seen the President’s penis?”

“It ain’t in the Congress or Judiciary
It ain’t in the Smithsonian or that big ole library
An astronomer claims it was sighted on Venus
Has anyone seen the President’s penis?”


Chorus:
     C                       
“The Presiden’ts penis is missing, ole’”
   C                                         G  
We searched high and low, every night, every day
G                               D
Lord, won’t you come down and redeem us
    D                           G
Has anyone seen the President’s penis”


“Now Presidents have goofed up in all kinds of ways
In the 80’s we elected one missing his brain
George Washington caught a cold he couldn’t explain
And we all know the truth about Thomas Jefferson’s name”

“Franklin D. Roosevelt wasn’t no square 
With that raging Woodrow in his wheelchair
And all the lesbians snickered that Elenor didn’t care
And John Kennedy’s penis was seen everywhere”

Chorus

“Them outer space people would laugh if they’d seen us
All this talk about cum-stains and oral coitus
Meanwhile the whole world suffers from hunger and meanness
But we’re more concerned with the President’s penis”