United Health
By Jesse Welles
Written by Jesse Welles
Tabbed from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_swGiAHhbQ
Tabbed by Larry Mofle
9/20/2025


3rd fret

           C                          F           C
There's an office in a building and a person in a chair
        F           C               G
And you paid for it all, though you may be unaware
    C                       F            C
You paid for the paper, you paid for the phone
             F               C         G                  C
You paid for everything they need to deny you what you're owed


Chorus:
                F
There ain't no "You" in UnitedHealth
                D7
There ain't no "Me" in the company
                C          C/B    A7
There ain't no "Us" in the private trust
               D7          G   C
There's hardly humans in humanity


Now, the procedure that you're needing ain't the cost effective route
And only two-percent of people end up winning a dispute
So, if you get sick, pray to God for help
'Cause your doctor's gotta pray to United Health

Way back in seventy-and-seven, Mister Richard T. Burke
Started buying HMO's, putting federal grants to work
Made fifty-billion buckaroos last year
The Warren Buffet of Health, the Jeff Bezos of fear

 
Bridge:
       F                   C
Now, CEO's come and go and one just went
      C                          G
The ingredients you got bake the cake you get
    C                           F           C
But if you get sick, cross your fingers for luck
           F          C           G        C
'Cause old Richard T. Burke ain't giving a f**k


  F                     C
Commoditized health, monopolized fraud
           C                       G
Here's the doctors we own, and the research we bought
             C                F          C
They own the pharmacies and a lot of the meds
            F            C                 G              C
They should start buying graves to sell us when we're all dead

Chorus
 
There's hardly humans in humanity