Words written by Chris Brock
(In the tune of 'Corpus Christi Bay' by Robert Earl Keen)



Capo on 3rd Fret


(Verse 1)
G                         Cadd9  G                 
I x-ray bags from 10 ‘til sev -  en,
         Cadd9
Out at DFW.
                            G
Don’t you pack your cuticle scissors,
                         D
I’ll call a bag check on you.
                          Cadd9 G
Don’t forget to take your shoes off,
                          Cadd9
Yes, the sign says, “Optional.”
                             G              D
But walk through my mag with shoes on,
                          G
And it’s the handwand for you.


(Verse 2)
Need your laptop by itself, sir,
Nothing on top or underneath.
Recommend you lose that cell phone,
‘Cause it’ll make you beep.
You can place in that bowl there,
Along with pocket change.
Just follow my directions,
And you’ll make it your plane.


(Chorus)
                           D            Cadd9
Although you people do not like me,
                  G
There is no other way.
                    Cadd9               D
I’m an agent of the government,
               G
I screen for TSA.


(Verse 3)
I need to know whose bag this is,
The picture wasn’t clear.
I’m gonna send it back through x-ray,
You can wait right here.
Ma’am, I’ll need to do a bag check,
On that little pocket knife.
I need to see your boarding pass,
Step over to the side.


(Repeat Chorus)


(Verse 4)
Hello, Sir, you’ve been selected,
To receive the extra screening.
No, you don’t look like a terrorist,
Please, just point to your things.
I’ll go place them on that table,
And if you’ll just have a seat,
We’ll be able to get started,
Just as soon as I give my speech.

(Repeat Chorus x2)