Title  "The Bartender Screw"
Artist "sanoma"

(1)
   He was sittin'and drinkin,makin bets at the bar.
   When the bartender told him he was goin to far.
   Said he had to quit makin bets or he'd have to leave.
   He said ol' son  you know I was just makin fun,
   Perhaps, you'd like to make a bet with me?

(2)
   Well the bartender looked at him down his nose,
   And said just what kind a bet do you prepose?
   The little guy said if I win are you gonna buy?
   I'll bet you a hunderd That I can bite my right eye"
   The bartender said I've made lot's of bets,
   But i gotta say this is the best one yet.
   When the little feller took out his right glass eye
   and bit it.
(3)
   You could tell the bartender was mad when he paid 'Im,
   Was hopin' for a chance so's he could get even.
   When the little guy pops and says,
   I'll bet two hunderd I can bite the other eye.
   The bartender said yah! he was hoppin jumpin'
   He figgered his luck was gonna start changin.
   When the little guy took out his false teeth 
   and bit his other eye.
(4)
   The little guy started laughin',fell off a his stool.
   And started staggerin'to the john lookin like a fool.
   The bartender figgered he was drunk to the gizzard.
   Decided if another bet was offered it'd bigger to     
   When he came back out he stopped at a table.
   Chatted a minute and best as he was able sat back down 
   and said hey ol sun.

(5)
   He told the bartender hed been a greivn, I'm a honest
   little guy wanna chance to get even?
   And the bartender says what you got this time?
   The litle guy says take this this shot glass sir,
   And set it on this end of the bar right here.
   I'll go to the other end down there,
   Then I'll piss right through the air.
   And bet you double or nothinit all goes in the glass down here.
(6)
   The bartender knew right then that he hid 'im.
   And said climb up there boy and get at it.
   The little man started off to the end of the bar.
   Well he tripped and staggered but finally made it,
   Then got on the bar, unzipped his pants and let her fly.
   Well he was peein' all over the place. 
   It got in peoples drinks and one ol gals face.
   The bartender started laughin so hard he just about died.
 (7)
    When it was all over, and people got settled,
    Those sittin at the bar had either left or got tables.
    The bartender said little man where's my money.
    The little feller paid him all the while gigglin'.
    And the bartender says what's so funny ?
    Although he was still wigglin,
    And the little feller says you only beat me by half.
    You see I bet those guys I talked to at the table.  
    Two thousand dollars that .............
    I COULD PEE ALL OVER YOUR BAR AND YOU'D LAUGH!!!!