Tim Wilson - Garth Brooks Ruined My Life

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What’s the big deal about Garth Brooks
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What’s he got that I ain’t got
Except the biggest country album in history
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And girls screamin’ in the parkin’ lot
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My wife thinks Garth Brooks hung the moon
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Yeah she thinks Garth’s number one
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And there’s even husbands jealous at Garth Brooks over in Ireland.

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I look better in a hat than he does
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And I got a lot more hair
I missed The Dance, Still Felt the Pain
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And I’ve never had an Answered Pray
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I wrote a hundred songs about rodeos
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But my wife wouldn’t listen to mine
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Now I’m singin’ to Friends in a place so Low
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Garth Brooks couldn’t even find.

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Garth Brooks you better hope we never meet
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Or one of us is gonna get hurt
Yeah you’ll let go of that Longneck Bottle
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If I choke you with a Garth Brooks T-shirt
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She has taken down our weddin’ pictures
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And put a poster of you
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And if you name comes up again when she’s sleepin’
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There’s no tellin’ what I’ll do.

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Yeah we went though this a few years ago
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When she was dreamin’ about George Strait
But now the name Garth Brooks are two words
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I have grown to hate
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Brother you look like a cowboy airport controller
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With that ugly little microphone
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Why don’t you quite tryin’ to turn my wife away
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And leave my life alone.

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I sick of, Garth Brooks
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I’m tired of hearin’ about, Garth Brooks
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I think I’ve had enough, Garth Brooks
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My wife is in love with, Garth Brooks
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She wants to be Mrs., Garth Brooks
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I hope his records sells like, Garth Brooks.

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